my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
