Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
