She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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