Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
