All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
