I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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