I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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