we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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