please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
