i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
