Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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