they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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