you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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