I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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