he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
