Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
