The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
