Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
