Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
