Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
