Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
