4 words: hood of his car
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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