There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize
