Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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