is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
