He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
