pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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