I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
