Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
