I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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