i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
