All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
