If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
