3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
