well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
