girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i drank out of a bidet.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just high enough for therapy.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
