Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
