puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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