weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
