he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
