How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
