If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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