Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize
