So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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