You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
