I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
