oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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