You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My ass is underappreciated
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
