ugly people sure do ruin things
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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