Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
