Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Ketchup is God's man juice
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
