Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
